Eating me From the Inside

[opening heart]
I desire a lot,
but I have little
My heart, my mind, my love, and My God
maybe not so little

I have the strongest of roots,
but in evaluating myself....
there are no fruits

God has given me the will to hold on,
and I promise (myself),
that is the only thing
that I can put my faith in

I have no peace,
no happiness,
no joy,
no nothing from this world
And maybe its God showing me that all I need is Him

But it hurts
Not like one of those,
Guys aren't suppose to hurt,
so we suck it up and keep it inside....nooo
This hurts like
your soul being consumed
with poisonous snakes,
and everytime you toss one off,
another bites you
in a different place of your soul (in life)

I have no idea what purgatory feels like,
but if its anything worse that what my soul feels now,
Then I know I don't wanna go there.

I'm so discontent with everything surrounding my life...except me.
Its really confusing though,
cause 9 times out of 10,
I'm wondering if I need to change/grow me?

But then,
I'm doing good things...
I'd do anything in the world for anyone.
But for some reason...
I always...
and I mean always get the tail end of the stick.

And what makes it worse is the fact that I try to be a good person.
[closing heart]